Once upon a time in a land not so far away, there lived two Indian princesses who became best friends from the start. Although their friendship was somewhat unconventional due to an unfortunate age discrepancy, they were known near and far as discerning besties who were on the forefront of retail therapy, compulsive crafting, and all things shiny. Their friendship was cemented in the closeness of their hearts; some would speculate that they may have even shared the same brain, for whatever adventure one did not dream up, the other one did. Opportunities for contagious, yet sometimes inappropriate, laughter followed their every step. It soon became quite apparent that their birth names should be changed to names more fitting for their passions for life.
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Please note: The Indian princess on the left is sporting bedazzled pants, bedazzled shoes, shiny ornament in hair, an abundance of fringe, and a shiny necklace given to her by friend on the right who was seen making the purchase at Tiffany's of NYC.
The Indian princess on the right is standing so that her tall friend on the left could sit on the repurposed bench made from items she found on the 80% off isle at Hobby Lobby. Her fashion trendy outfit was later featured on the cover of CSA (Compulsive Shoppers Anonymous).
Reliable sources have disclosed that within minutes after this photo shoot, the BFF princesses were seen en route to TJ Maxx, Target, Hobby Lobby, and Michael's, followed by a leisurely late lunch at Chili's. Reliable sources also confirmed that the princesses were later seen eating - again - smiley face cookies at Ed's Bakery. It has not yet been confirmed that prior to heading home, they were possibly spotted having a Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccino at Starbuck's. Sonic has reported that they were also served Route 44 Diet Cokes prior to and after their shopping/eating extravaganza. Such is the life of a princess.
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So after much debate, evoking the gods of name changing, and dancing around a rather large blazing bonfire, the elders of the somewhat dysfunctional Indian tribe christened the bargain savvy shopper as Princess Shopajawea and the collector of shiny baubles as Princess Dances With Glitter. The BFF princesses carried these names proudly for many years; however, life situations soon dictated that one name was just not enough for besties of such varied talents and strong predispositions for embarrassing/comical situations.
So again, after much more debate, and again evoking the gods of name changing, and again dancing around a rather large blazing bonfire, the elders of the somewhat dysfunctional Indian tribe were at a loss. (Please note: There was no grammar Nazi to be found in all the land; run-on sentences, incorrect punctuation, and overuse of adverbs & adjectives were socially acceptable.) The elders of the tribe felt that no person, regardless of royal status, should have more than one name adjustment per lifetime, unless trying to evade the federal government. Much upheaval and discontentment abounded in the village of Southside in Van Buren County, for many believed that it was, indeed, time for a royal name adjustment. The elders of the tribe were distraught, and soon turned to the magic box for further discernment. And behold, their answer was there in black and white, appearing in daily reruns on Direct TV and Netflix.
The enlightenment of the magic box was embraced by all royalty across the vast kingdom. It was obviously time for a name adjustment befitting of the princesses who were known far and wide not only for their stunning beauty and highly coveted lifestyle, but also for their cutting edge wit and wisdom; therefore the prospective name adjustment was submitted by the elders of the somewhat dysfunctional Indian tribe to the somewhat dysfunctional U. S. Senate for confirmation. After a thorough, yet questionable investigation, the controversial name adjustment of the BFF princesses was approved by a 51-49 vote ratification.
Therefore, it is my honor to present to the Most Awesome Journalism Class of Southside High School (drumroll, please):
Princess Shopajawea aka Princess Lucy aka Princess Ms. Raines
and
Princess Dances With Glitter aka Princess Ethel aka Princess Joy Chadwick.
Shopping stories, glitter stories, comical stories furnished upon request.
(Embarrassing stories furnished upon receipt of large sums of money. Or Diet Coke.)
Princess Shopajawea and Princess Dances With Glitter
BFFAA (Best Friends Forever And Always)
And they lived happily ever after.
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