As some of you may have seen from my recent post on Facebook, we had a storm come through here the other night that would have ordinarily scared me to death had I not already been sleep deprived, leaving me in no mood to deal with wind and rain. Hubby slept through it all, of course, as did Leo The Giant Puppy. However, had I known that tables were flying through the air, trees were being uprooted, campers and outhouses were tumbling across the yard, huge rose bushes were mysteriously vanishing and leaving no trace of their prior existence … well, let’s just say that I would have had a greater respect for spring storms. But during all this my mind was going 90 MPH, reliving all the wonderfulness of the past wedding week; mentally detailing a grocery list; trying to remember the name of the man who sat on the front pew of a church we attended 30+ years ago. And that list goes on and on. I obviously had no time to worry about a potential storm.
So this was a lead-in to where I felt led to write this morning. I am a squirrel. I have random thoughts on an on-going basis; my little brain never shuts down. Hubby and I will be driving down the road and he’ll ask me what I’m thinking. Once or twice I’ve actually told him, and since then he’s just quit asking, because there is no rhyme nor reason for my total mental randomness.
My randomness isn’t limited to squirrel thoughts by any means. Just during the time it’s taken to write two paragraphs, I’ve gone to the fridge to get a Diet Coke, while stopping by the memo board to see what we needed from WalMart, then looking for a necklace I couldn’t find earlier, then checking to see if there was a way that I could improve the arrangement of my overflowing closet. Remember those little squirrels that dart out in front of a car, then go back and forth, unable to make up their mind about crossing the road? That’s me. I’m that squirrel.
I wonder how God feels about my squirrelness. There have been so many things that I felt led to do, but not one of those things has ever been a lifelong endeavor. I love to write (and feel that is what God has given me), but that seems to be hit and miss sometimes. I love to play the piano (and feel that is what God has given me), but the keyboard is usually dust covered from inconsistent use. I love to read my Bible (and God wants us ALL to do that), but even that sometimes is not nearly as consistent as it should be. The place I had carved out to truly spend one on one time with God screams to me as I walk through, whispering to my heart that God is there, waiting. And waiting. But I am a squirrel and keep scurrying from one calling to the other. Is this even normal??
Each morning as I step out on the back porch, there is another beautiful dew-glistening spider web that was created during the night. It’s intricate and has a lacy quality, sturdy enough to catch a bug. In spite of what may happen during the day to totally destroy the little spider’s mission, she (I’m pretty sure it’s a she) will build another one, day in, day out; that’s what she was called to do. Her job never lets up, otherwise she would have no bugs to eat. A little bluebird just perched on the fence in front of my window with a blade of grass in her mouth; she looked around and saw that she did indeed have the perfect blade of grass and flew off to work on her nest; that’s what she was called to do. Her job never lets up, otherwise she would have no home for the babies who would someday occupy that nest. The proverbial squirrel darts back and forth in front of a passing car because she is looking for the nuts she has buried; does she remember where they are? She may have some memory lapses, but gathering nuts for her sustenance is what she was called to do. Her job never lets up, otherwise she wouldn’t have enough energy to keep on darting.
I’ve learned a lot from the squirrels and spiders and bluebirds. If they don’t do what they were put here to do, their life would be in danger.
I don’t know that my life would be in danger if I quit writing or playing the piano, or even if I quit reading my Bible or quit spending time in prayer. But my relationship with the Lord would surely suffer and that is certainly a dangerous place to be. People watch our lives, whether we’re doing what we’re put on this earth to do or not. What value would my life have if I caused even one person to stumble because I wasn’t doing what God has intended? I haven't always been the person I was supposed to be and I am so very sorry for all the times that I wasn't being the person that God intended me to be. Believe me, I’ve got a list a mile long of things I’ve done that I wish I could have a do-over for, but the past is passed and I can only resolve this day to make a difference; and then do it all over again tomorrow. Even through my squirrelness I serve a God who stands ready to forgive, ready to offer grace upon grace upon grace. He stands ready to give me a do-over.
I’m so glad that God loves me in spite of my squirrelness! But wait - I think He probably knew how I was going to turn out from the beginning of time - and that, my friend, is just one more reason that I’m not gonna give up! God has a plan, and YOU are part of that plan too!! What’s our calling for today?
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